Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Virtue in Hedonism.

My philosopher snores so loud that sometimes it is a sincere wonder to me that he doesn't wake himself or the dead up. It's utterly wretched, the sort of noise that penetrates through to your very core making your spine shiver and causing that thrum of nerves that any sane human knows how to control.  I control it because I love him, because I am courteous enough to not yet start punching him since sleep for me is very far away at the moment, and because smothering him with a pillow is in no way conducive to a healthy relationship. It may be fodder for writing, but it does not help me relax enough to sleep.

And I am exhausted in a way I haven't felt since last summer, with days spent trekking hundreds of miles in the heat through Europe.  I joined a gym, having abandoned Bally's more than half a year ago due to a sheer lack of will power. And in the past six days, I have gone five times, with H as my conscience and over achieving work out partner. I have done far more cardio in the past few days than i think I may have ever accomplished in my life. Simply stated, I want to die.

Today was my first weigh in since then, from two weeks ago I have gained 1.8 pounds and I am now 208 pounds respectively. It is still almost 30 pounds less than I was at my heaviest, and I have been at this plateau for some time now. It's time for a change, and the time is now. I don't necessarily plan on dieting all too much during this experience, as I am quite sure culinary school and my own hedonistic tendencies won't allow much. But there will be small changes. And no, this will not turn into a Diet Blog, I simply figure that by making this public. I will work harder, and perhaps in the process a few good ideas will come from it. My ultimate goal? 20 pounds lost by the end of the Summer. 

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