Blood and Pumpkin Bread Pudding.

Well it's January and a new year and this post has been sitting around half written in a tab for...three months now. Because that's about how much time I have to commit to my personal, creative endeavors. Now you're going to be sitting here saying. WHAT THE HELL? It's January! Pumpkin was SO last season, but regardless my friends. In this girl's ersatz world, pumpkin is never out of season. Especially when I still have cans left over from Autumn. 

So this is still delicious. And I'm still posting it. So you're going to have to deal until I can write up something anew.

Imagine a golden autumn afternoon, a day off, a loving girlfriend tending house and putting together a pumpkin bread pudding with the left over challah bread she baked a few days ago. Hoping to have a blog post made, and a warm homey dessert ready and waiting for when the philosopher returns home. Sounds lovely right?

Segway to the stupidest wine topper/wedding favor ever created shattering, slicing upwards into flesh. A maelstrom of glitter, blood, and glass splattered all over the kitchen. 

In other words. Utter glittery mayhem.

After numerous attempts to tourniquet the non stop bleeding with a torn up wash cloth, I finally decide to go knock on a neighbor or two's door. Finding a nice lady who is thankfully a mom living next door, with a first aid kit, filled with REAL medical supplies. She patches me up, tells me I need stitches stat. Sends me on my way. I...shoo the kitten away from the wreckage where he is trying to consume my blood off the floor,  strain my custard through a flour sifter.  Clean up the carnage and stick the custard in the fridge until I can find someone to open up the can of pumpkin for me. Manage to make myself look human and  move my car for alternate side parking. And then await to return of said beloved philosopher so we can attempt to find an emergency room.

Seven hours we waited, while my poor pudding sat unfinished  until the worst doctor in existence finally saw me. And gave me three terrible stitches, that I probably could have done better with a sewing needle and some fishing line.

Officially, the worst day off ever.

When we finally arrived home, I utilized my room mate as a puppet and finished the recipe. For your puddingy pleasure....At least now you have something to do with those leftover cans of pumpkin right? Right. 

Pumpkin Bread Pudding.

Ingredients: 

About 15 ounces of canned pureed pumpkin.

6 eggs. 

2 tablespoons of dark rum. 

A half to 3/4 cup of half and half or heavy cream.

1 tablespoon of vanilla puree.

3 tablespoons of pumpkin pie spice.

1/4 a cup of granulate sugar. Plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar. 

1 tablespoon of cinnamon.

Half a stick of butter, melted.

1 challah loaf, or whatever other old bread you might have sitting around. 

Hardware:

A bowl.

A whisk.

A large casserole.

And Away We Go.

Consider this the quickest possible route to a bread pudding, which in my opinion is never an exact science so feel free to eff around with this to your hearts content. This is just what I did that fateful day. 

Take your bread, and tear it into nice bite size-ish chunks, and toss that in the melted butter, then tumble them into your casserole and whip out your bowl. Toss all of the other ingredients together, sans pumpkin and whisk until combine, then add your pumpkin and whisk until homogenized. Your mixture should be thick but still runny enough to soak into your bread. 

Pour it over the top, and let it rest for an hour at least and preferably overnight. When you're ready, push that baby into a preheated 350 degree oven and let it bake for about an hour. You'll know it's set when you can push in on a crack and no liquid custard seeps out. 

Spoon out, top with some whipped cream or ice cream and enjoy!

Trains, strain, and chocolate pudding.

One might think that when one begins going to school for baking and pastry there would indeed be a lot more time for...said baking. That had been my presumption, that was...until I started actually going. Perhaps if the commute was less harrowing, or the feelings of complete and utter exhaustion upon returning home confined to a day or so per week it would be a tad different. I could maybe find time to pop out a cake or cookie in between the rush...but fact remains that I don’t, and haven’t.
    

There is however, one small dessert that can typically be made in no time flat, that is delicious and beloved by all, and that in times of dire exhaustion and soul crushing depression that follow late nights on the train and the ache of having to finally send your childhood pet across that Rainbow bridge(by the way, does anybody know where the fuck that saying came from?) can lift the spirits and make the world right again.
  

  That little thing, is chocolate pudding. Devastatingly under appreciated in our adult years, forgotten to the small snack packs that lay in our lunch boxes or came at the end of a particularly good school lunch. Can be revamped, and beloved again. In an entirely grown up sort of fashion. I don’t remember what magazine I tore the recipe from, I think it may have been Food Network, but it has been committed to memory since. This is quintessential, easy to make, and sure to impress at any pot luck. 

Dark Chocolate Pudding with Spiced Whipped Cream

 Ingredients:
5 oz. 50%-62% dark chocolate (Only real honest to god chocolate, melting chocolate, chocolate chips will not work..they have weird stabilizers added to them.)
3 cups of milk (whole or 2% is fine)
1/2 to 1 full  teaspoon of salt (the amount depends on your tastes really, you can always add more in the final stage)
1.5 tablespoons of vanilla puree
1/4 teaspoon of almond extract (optional)
2 large egg yolks, room temperature
Half cup of sugar.

Tools:
A medium sauce pan.
Bowl.
Whisk.
A retaining vessel.

And Away We Go...

Chop up the chocolate and add it to the milk with the salt in the sauce pan and put it over medium heat, while this is melting down pull out a bowl and whisk together the sugar and cornstarch. Then incorporate the egg yolks so it becomes one big yellow blob. Set it aside and pay attention to the milk.

Stir occasionally until the chocolate has entirely melted into the milk and it’s at a hot cocoa kind of temperature. Then add a little bit to the egg mixture so it loosens up and the eggs get tempered, continue this little bit at a time process until about half of the milk is incorporated and the lumps and sugar have dissolved. By this time you should be able to add the rest, whisk it all together and then return to the sauce pan.

Over low to medium heat simmer the pudding stirring constantly until it’s thick and ribbony, this is the time to add your extracts and any additional salt if necessary. When it reaches a loose custardy consistency pour into your waiting vehicles of choice. I tend to make this in multiple batches and so use a low metal cake pan to help it cool faster and to incorporate other batches. But one batch will fill about 8 of those little pot de creme cups.

Put in the refrigerator to chill. Top with homemade whipped cream that you’ve spiced with a tablespoon of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice.

An important note: When making more than one batch, do NOT double up the recipe and cook twice as much at one time. it takes FOREVER to thicken up on the stove top and then you’re stuck there stirring and panicking for a full half hour or so. Just make each batch individually and add it to one big vessel. When they are all combined, whisk the whole bunch together for consistency. Let cool on the counter for a bit, and then chill. 

Enjoy!